Time to reflect

I have been unhappy for a long, long time. If I see a doctor, he or she will probably diagnose me as suffering from depression. But I don't need a doctor to tell me that. Crying everyday is not normal. Feeling useless everyday is not normal. Any twit with half a brain can figure that out. I have no idea how to heal myself. I have to find a way to accept my life the way it is, however much I hate the way it is. Because I think if I can accept things the way they are, I would be a happier person. As things stand, I cannot accept many things. I have so many wants and expectations that are not fulfilled so that I feel like such a failure. I need to stop thinking that way. I have no idea where to begin. I guess a good place to start is from the beginning. Maybe when I look into the past, it will give me some insight into why I am the way I am. Maybe if I write my memories down, it will open my eyes to the reality that is today. If I look back on my life, maybe I will find a way to forgive myself. To love myself. I have no idea if this is the solution. But I have no other alternative.