Asian society is a society that worships fair skin. Strangely, this only seems to apply to girls and not boys. I guess because traditionally, a man is the breadwinner, so he is judged by how much money he makes. A woman is the homemaker, so she is judged by her beauty, the fairer she is the more chances she has of marrying well.
I was born a girl with dark skin in an Asian society. Not the best thing to happen. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that my brothers are fair and good looking. If it was the other way around life would be much fairer (no pun intended) but you don't get to choose these things. So I always had comments like, "oh your brothers are so fair" or "your father is so fair" and the words not said were, "how come you are so dark?" But unfortunately I wasn't stupid anymore and therefore knew what they meant with their (unspoken) comments.
It is worse among Indians. I remember my room mate in university was a mature student who was pregnant. When she delivered and showed me pictures of her baby, her first question to me was, "she is fair, right?" Really? Never mind that she was a normal, healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes, what really matters was that she was fair? But sadly, that is the way Indians think.
Family is the same. When I left for university, my aunt said the usual things like study hard etc. When my cousins went to university (they are Chindians) I heard my aunt telling them to be wary of boys, don't walk alone at night etc. I thought at the time and still do, that she did not give me the same advice because which boy is going to disturb me? I'm too ugly to be harassed or raped.
As long as one is fair skinned, even without an eye or a nose or an ear, one is beautiful. And as long as one is dark skinned, even with attractive features, one is ugly. As it turns out, I remain single to date and I have no doubts that many people, including my relatives, must think that I'm too ugly for anyone to love.
I know this is wrong. I am more than a skin colour. I am worthy of being loved. But when people tell you you're ugly since the age of 3, and that comment is repeated throughout your life, and when you live in a society that worships fair skin, you will inevitably believe what you know is wrong.
And that is why, even after all these years, when I look in the mirror, all I can see is ugliness.
I was born a girl with dark skin in an Asian society. Not the best thing to happen. The problem was exacerbated by the fact that my brothers are fair and good looking. If it was the other way around life would be much fairer (no pun intended) but you don't get to choose these things. So I always had comments like, "oh your brothers are so fair" or "your father is so fair" and the words not said were, "how come you are so dark?" But unfortunately I wasn't stupid anymore and therefore knew what they meant with their (unspoken) comments.
It is worse among Indians. I remember my room mate in university was a mature student who was pregnant. When she delivered and showed me pictures of her baby, her first question to me was, "she is fair, right?" Really? Never mind that she was a normal, healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes, what really matters was that she was fair? But sadly, that is the way Indians think.
Family is the same. When I left for university, my aunt said the usual things like study hard etc. When my cousins went to university (they are Chindians) I heard my aunt telling them to be wary of boys, don't walk alone at night etc. I thought at the time and still do, that she did not give me the same advice because which boy is going to disturb me? I'm too ugly to be harassed or raped.
As long as one is fair skinned, even without an eye or a nose or an ear, one is beautiful. And as long as one is dark skinned, even with attractive features, one is ugly. As it turns out, I remain single to date and I have no doubts that many people, including my relatives, must think that I'm too ugly for anyone to love.
I know this is wrong. I am more than a skin colour. I am worthy of being loved. But when people tell you you're ugly since the age of 3, and that comment is repeated throughout your life, and when you live in a society that worships fair skin, you will inevitably believe what you know is wrong.
And that is why, even after all these years, when I look in the mirror, all I can see is ugliness.
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