My life - Part 37

When I was 18 and 19 years old, I possessed a singularly strong frame of mind that I never possessed before, nor again thereafter. It was like I was almost someone else, and not myself. I told my parents that I was going to do Form 6 but I was going to change to the Arts Stream, and if they didn't want another disaster that was Form 5, they had better listen to me for once and let me have my way. Surprisingly, it worked. Maybe they saw the determination in my eyes, maybe they had written me off either way, whatever it was, they let me change to the Arts Stream.

I wanted to do English Literature, which was not a subject offered in my school. But of course, that didn't stop me. With the help of one of the teachers in my school, I obtained the syllabus for Form 6 English Literature, ordered the necessary books from the local book shop (they had to order the books from Kuala Lumpur) and studied this subject on my own. I never had any kind of lessons in English Literature before this, ever. But at that time, that was not a problem for me.

Because the competition to get into the law faculty in University Malaya was so stiff, I also made sure I joined various clubs and societies in school so that it would show that I was an all rounded student, and not just limited to academic capabilities. I managed to become President and Vice President of various sports and other clubs and societies, and I also entered public speaking competitions whenever I could.

As if that was not enough, I also decided to take my Grade 8 piano practical exam the following year. I always passed my theory exams with flying colours, and had already completed Grade 8 theory previously, which I passed with distinction. Practical exams I always had a problem with, nerves always got the better of me. Always. I had failed my Grade 7 practical exam when I was 16, without anyone ever finding out because that was the state of affairs at that time - make the family proud always, and be invisible the rest of the time (my idea of being invisible was not getting caught). But now, I decided to complete my Grade 8 exam before going to university.

I had a friend who did exceptionally well in all her practical exams, always passing with distinction. But she failed her Grade 8 exam. And she was not the only one. A lot of people took 2 years instead of the usual 1 to prepare for their Grade 8 exams. I had about 7 to 8 months to prepare for mine. Everyone said I was mad.

And I was. This was a time in my life when you could throw any challenge at me, any challenge at all, and I would accept the challenge and ensure that I emerged the victor. I was in such an exceptionally strong state of mind. Nothing could stop me. I was on an almost impossible mission, and failure was just not an option for me. Not this time.