All I did these past 2 days is lie in bed, watch tv and cry. I really feel trapped and overwhelmed. I have lost all mood to do anything else.
I can’t read a book because my mind is too distraught and then I find I do not know what I’m reading. I can’t play guitar because I am not feeling very inspired. I can’t do indoor exercises because I’m bored of seeing the same surroundings. I can’t bring myself to play with P.U.P. because I don’t want her to see me sad. I can’t communicate with people because nothing is happening and all conversations are about this damn virus which I’m also bored of.
So I watch tv to soothe my distraught brain but the cruel thoughts keep intruding. Why am I even here? So unloved, so unwanted. It doesn’t make a difference if I lived or died. Not one damn difference.
nice
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