When there are no explanations

I remember a particularly upsetting period in my career when I had to deal with a particularly difficult personality. 'Difficult' is actually an understatement. 

I used to get all upset and flustered and spent many days and nights wondering why anyone, particularly this man ("Mr. L") would behave the way he did. Short of labelling someone mad (in which case that is all the explanation I need) my brain likes to rationalise situations so that it can understand the actions and decisions that some people make. But I could find no explanation for Mr L's actions, so Mr. L continued to plague my thougths.

And I remember one of my then colleagues telling me that sometimes there are just no explanations. Sometimes people just do strange, mean or hateful things for no reason at all. She said that life would be much easier and simpler if I didn't always try to understand other people's actions.

She was right, of course. But as usual, I couldn't let it go. I used to hate Mr. L with a vengeance, and it took me a long time before I could finally forgive him and set my mind at peace.

It was perhaps a year or so later that I found out that Mr. L did not only target me but he targeted others as well. I now honestly believe that Mr. L is mentally unhinged, unbalanced, unstable, walking on the border of sanity and insanity. So I had my explanation in the end. And all that time I spent wondering why why why, were all wasted.

I just have to accept the fact that there are some weird, mentally deranged people out there in this world pretending to be normal. I'm sure Mr. L is not the only one.

In fact, I know that one like person is reading my blog right now.