No way out

I, for one, never thought that my life would end up like this. And yet, here I am.

From here on end, I foresee a dark, narrow, winding path with treacherous cliffs on either side, where one wrong move can send me spiraling to an abyss so deep and dark that there will be no way out. And no matter which path I choose from now on, I still can't see the bloody light at the end of the tunnel because for me, there is just no light. That's just the way it is.

I am trapped and there's no way out. No one can help me because no one understands, or they simply do not want to understand. I'm tired of hearing people tell me maybe you should do this or maybe you should do that. All these maybes just give me a whole lotta hope which has turned out to be a whole lotta nought. So enough of listening to people. Enough of maybes. Enough of waiting.

I wish there was a procedure out there where I can replace this sad heart with a happy heart, even for a few seconds. Because I honestly cannot remember the last time I was truly happy. And no matter what I do, I can't seem to be happy.  Grief follows me around like an unwanted shadow, a parasitic twin that has eaten away at all that was good in me, and it still scavenges for more knowing full well that I have nothing left to give. Soon i will be no more. Perhaps then I will find my happiness again.