Is it me?

Sometimes I seriously wonder whether it's me. Do I go looking for my own problems? Do I subconsciously invite negative energy into my life? Do I like being pessimistic? 

Of course, the main problem is that I think too much. Sometimes it is what it is. But that's never enough for me. I need to know the why, the how come, the if it had been someone else other than me, would they be treated in the same way, the would I have reacted in the same way, etc. Sometimes there are no explanations. People are mean. People are selfish. People don't care. But my brain will not accept that. There always has to be a reason, an explanation.

I am hardest on myself. When something bad happens, inevitably I blame myself. I should've been smarter, I should've thought of that, I should've done this, I should've done that. I really think it's time to give myself a break. Sometimes the universe is just out to get you for no apparent reason. Everything you plan goes out the window, disintegrates into a million pieces. It appears to me that this happens to me more often than any other person I know. Nothing goes according to plan. 

What do I do? I really don't know. I don't have all the answers. Maybe it is me after all. I am, therefore I am. Whatever that means.