I really didn’t think life would be this difficult. I used to think that no matter how bad things got, it would always get better. Now I realize that when things are bad, they tend to get worse. So maybe I’m just depressed and see the glass as half empty. I never was an optimist. Life is easier when you are a pessimist. For example, if you expect it to rain on the one day you didn’t bring your umbrella and it does rain, hey! you expected it. If it doesn’t rain, there is something to be happy about. But if you think everything is going to be ok and it doesn’t turn out ok, you will become depressed. So thinking that the worst could happen may actually be a good thing.
Not that I think anything good will ever happen to me anyway. Nothing good did happen. Everything I have now I worked for. Nothing came easy. Nobody gave me a break. I am jinxed. To be forever sad. And alone. Dunno why. The world has forgotten me. I am nobody. Nobody is me. This is how I disappear.
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