Friends? What friends?

Apart from my immediate family members, there are lesser and lesser people in this world that I care about. I can count the number of friends that I truly care for. As for the rest of my so-called friends, some of them I used to care about. Until they stopped caring about me. I don’t see why I should be the one giving all the time.

Of course, when I try telling them this, they just brush me off. They say I’m depressed, I just think no one cares about me but in fact everyone is here for me. Just because they say it, and probably believe it, doesn’t mean it is true.

Let me give you an example. When I broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years, none of my so-called friends bothered listening to my lamentations. Of course, my so-called friends will tell you otherwise. And they did listen. 3 or 4 times maybe. Then when it got repetitious, they said everything will be ok and changed the topic. Kept changing the topic, clearly indicating that they were not interested in hearing my lamentations anymore. Like I am supposed to be miraculously cured after 1 week, 1 month, whatever. I am still grieving now in fact! Not that I was lamenting all the time night and day. I do realize they have lives of their own. But they just couldn’t find the time, some little time, to comfort me. If they did, I would never have started this blog.

Another example is how when I state my opinion, I am always wrong, trying to start a fight, argumentative, the works. Well forgive me for having opinions that are contrary to popular beliefs! So much for freedom of expression.

So my question is, why should I care about them? Actually, I should treat them exactly the same way as they treat me. Be hypocritically nice to them on the surface. No more opinions. No more lamentations. From now on it is only blue skies, sweet spice and everything nice. They don’t have to know what is going on in my life as much as I don’t want to know what is going on in theirs.

I’d rather be alone. If they don’t want to take the trouble to know me, to be with me, to spend time with me, it’s their loss. So there.