Southern Africa - Day 1

Monday, 13 January 2020 - Journey to Cape Town, South Africa 

As usual, nothing goes according to plan. My friend Silvia tells me of a saying in Slovak, “if you want to hear God laugh, tell Him your plans.” By this time I thought I would’ve graduated but my lovely university has not even set a date for my oral examination. It’s going to be a year since I handed in my thesis and this, by any academic standards, is frankly ridiculous. Best university in Malaysia and my alma mater but I can no longer defend its (lack of) excellence.

By this time I also thought I would’ve found a job. It’s proving more difficult than I thought it would be. I’m sorry to say that I attended a New Year party organised by my ex-boss in order to network. Usually I run away from social events like this but desperate times calls for desperate measures. I’m even more sorry to report that nothing concrete came out of it so I still have to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life and how to go about it.

With all these looming uncertainties ahead, I booked myself a solo trip to southern Africa. Because I was tired of sitting around waiting for something to happen. And of course the timing for this trip is my fault because after my trip to Europe I was simply not in the mood to pack up and go travelling again. So I procrastinated and in November I convinced myself that it was ok to postpone Africa and work for a bit. However, Nothing happened.

So here I am at 5 a.m. Malaysian time at Hamad International Airport in Doha, Qatar. Transit to Cape Town, South Africa. Alone, also as usual. Nothing ever happens unless I make it happen. Nothing ever changes unless I change something. And then I tell myself that this is what I really want because I planned it, I chose it. But the reality is that my choices were made out of left overs; crumbs thrown my way after everything good has been given away to other people. So yes, I chose this path, but only because I was left with 2 paths out of say, 5 paths out there to choose from. I can see the other 3 paths but they are not available to me. Is that really freedom of choice? 

There was a family reunion back in Kuantan which I missed because I was networking (roll eyes). My cousin (the only one I’m close to) drove his Mum down and at the function, announced to everyone about my trip. So now my relatives think that I am this highly successful and wealthy lawyer living the dream. It’s laughable. Here I am jobless and saving money every which way I can. A lot of them do not approve of my lifestyle because an unmarried woman of my age should just sit at home and do spinsterly stuff and rot. I don’t like these perceptions of me, for they are false perceptions. 

But anyway no more trips after this until I get a job. And then maybe an annual holiday somewhere, that’s it. Let’s try normal for a while.