It's back

It's been almost 2 years. I should be proud of myself.

But sometimes it just comes, and it grips me with its long bony thorny fingers and I have to peel off its fingers from my flesh one by one until I'm free from its grasp. But it's always not far away, lurking, watching, waiting for its chance to pounce. 

And when it came for me last Saturday, with its army of soldiers ready to rip me apart and annihilate me, it was sheer good fortune that I remembered my mother kissing me goodbye that very morning. My mother who rarely showed affection as I was growing up. My mother. Kissed my cheek. That same morning. She loves me. I am loved. I am worthy.

And so I defeated it. For now.