It still hurts when people talk about relationships or marriages. Not that I am not happy for them. I am. But it still hurts. Because it reminds me of what I do not have.
I know it should not affect me. I have accepted the fact that I may never marry and may never have children of my own. So I shouldn’t be affected when other people talk about things like that.
But it does and I don’t know why. Maybe because deep down the eternal idealist in me still stubbornly believes that it is possible and I am still in denial that it is never going to happen.
I am holding on because I cannot bear to hurt the people I love. I wish for death but it evades me. And knowing my luck, death will come when I am actually happy. So is it better to be alive and sad or to die when you’re happy? Either way I lose.
Let’s face it. I played the game called life and I lost.
As cliche as this may sound, I do believe that things happen for a reason.
ReplyDeleteGod loves you ;)
Do remember these wise words:
Sometimes God breaks our spirit to save our soul. He breaks our heart to make us whole. He sends us pain so we can be stronger. He gives us failure so we can take better care of ourselves. He takes “everything” away from us so we can learn the value of “everything” we have.
Count your blessings and be grateful. I'm not saying that you are not but, we have to keep reminding ourselves of those things because we tend to forget and let negative thoughts/desires etc rule us mentally and physically. Thus making us unhappy with our lives.
Be and think positive ;) Insyallah, blessings and good news will come to you in time.
Thank you for your insightful words. It's good to know that there are good people like you out there. There is hope yet!
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