Merry Christmas!

Christmas is about:

(1)       Eating food cooked by my Mother, which is still the best food in the world because it is (wait for the cliché…) filled with love!

(2)        Jogging with my Father where we get to also chat about everything
             and nothing at all.

(3)        Hanging out with old friends and reminiscing the good old times.

(4)        Feeling safe, warm and comfortable in the house I grew up in.

(5)        Irritating, and getting irritated by, my brothers. I say this with nothing but
              love for them.

(6)        Doing some soul searching with promises of being a better person.

(7)        Wishing everyone joy, happiness and peace throughout the year and        
              throughout their lives.

(8)        Forgiving and forgetting the past.

(9)        Enjoying the present (and the presents).

(10)      Living life because this won’t last forever.

The end justifies the means

In the last week, I have come to realize that part of the reason why I am depressed is because of the company I keep. Whatever it is that people call it – aura, presence, vibe, feeling, body language, pheromone (?) – it is contagious. Sometimes you will just know that someone is angry or sad or happy just by being around them, without them ever saying a word to you.

So when you hang out with people who constantly bitch about one thing or another, there is a sense of negativity, doom, gloom, despair, etc that pervades the atmosphere and sort of penetrates your shield and before you know it, you are infected with that same virus.

The cure? I guess stay away from people like that, and replace them with happy, positive people. Which is sad because I am actually quite fond of some of them, bitching and all. But if this is the only way for me to be happy in life, I guess that is what I have to do. So ironic that it has to be a sad solution for a happy ending.

'If' by Rudyard Kipling

I’m feeling poetic this Sunday afternoon. Here’s my favourite poem, ‘If’ by Rudyard Kipling. It’s Buddhism in a poem (at least, that’s my interpretation).

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;


If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;


If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";


If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

When no means no

I’m usually quite certain about what I want and what I don’t want. But there are exceptions to this general rule. There always are. Persistence is one of them. When people persistently ask me to do something and they won’t take no for an answer, I tend to give in not because I want to but because I want be rid of them. The problem with giving in is that I sometimes end up doing things that I really don’t like doing. And I don’t see why I should be put in this position.

So recently I decided that I shall be more persistent in saying no to persistent people, starting yesterday. Needless to say, it didn’t go down well. I got blamed for leading them on because notwithstanding my earlier rejections, the fact that I kept answering their calls apparently meant that they still stood a chance. What kind of a warped mentality is that I really do not know. But at least I’m now rid of one persistent person. Now for the rest! There has to be an easier way to say no and let the recipient understand that no means no and they should just give it up. No means no. Not maybe, not I'll think about it, not you still have a chance, not yes. No is what it is. NO.

I’m still trying to figure that one out.

Of women and bananas

Women only coaches. Women taxi drivers for women travelling alone. A radio station for women.

As a woman, I will be the first to tell you that there are many prejudices against women, and many perils that women must face on a daily basis – unwanted stares, ‘accidental’ touching in a crowded LRT, unequal treatment, sexual harassment, snatch thefts, rape, murder, ethnic cleansing, genocide. And so the safety measures undertaken by the Government, and the radio station for women discussing issues relating to women, are all steps taken towards the protection and betterment of women.

But it is superficial. Women’s biggest enemy is one that is not so easily rectified, because it lies in the mind. For a change in mindset, education is key and must be instilled in the young from the earliest possible stage. The day it is instilled in the future generation that women are equals, is the day women will truly be empowered and free. Women need not be protected anymore because they will be respected enough not to be violated in any way.

Rather utopian but that is the only long term solution as I see it. Sadly I don’t see it happening. Educating the young is not only telling them that men and women are equal, but also actually treating men and women equally so for example, sons should be told to help in household chores and daughters should be encouraged to play soccer if that is their interest. How many parents are courageous enough to do that?

Until there is a complete change in the mindset of human beings, you will continue to have idiots that try to stop women from buying or eating bananas and cucumbers. It is not women who need protecting, it is bigots – men and women alike – who need protection from their own twisted minds.

Letter to the Editor

I wrote a letter to the editor in response to a letter written by one Mr. Philip Markus who criticized lawyers for joining the 'Walk for Freedom' organized by the Bar Council and which took place on 29 November 2011. It didn't get published considering I wrote to the mainstream media. All's not lost, there is alternative platforms like my trusted blog. Here is my response:

"In civil society there lies a distinction between one who is intellectually dishonest and one who is oblivious. Admittedly, I am placed in the former category, sometimes. In the ‘Views’ column of The Star, a letter by Mr. Philip Markus of Kuala Lumpur entitled “Uphold Law, not violate it” appearing on 01.12.2011 provides the distinction.

Being a lawyer is not all about prosecuting or defending a client’s case in court. Law cannot be practiced in a vacuum. For justice to be done, the entire legal system must work i.e. there must be legislation that conform to the Federal Constitution, a free and independent judiciary, and a robust legal profession that acts without fear or favour. Law being something so close to a legal practitioner’s heart, he is duty bound to interpret, redefine, reinvent and even challenge the law not only to ensure its relevance in meeting the demands of a modern and ever changing world, but also to avoid redundancy and mockery of laws that come into effect.

Many people, presumably including Mr. Philip Markus, often view protests or resistance in any form as the antitheses of loyalty and patriotism. The opposite is true. The true enemy of society is not rebellion, it is apathy.

Like Mr. Philip Markus, I am also a law-abiding citizen. Unlike Mr. Philip Markus, I believe in standing up for my guaranteed constitutional rights whenever the same is under threat of erosion or abolition, because laws that steer away from the Federal Constitution threaten the entire legal system, which in turn threatens the epitome of justice. Perhaps that is why I am a lawyer, and proud of it!"