What an ASS!

I have recently discovered the joys of yoga. Sure, I had heard about how wonderful yoga is, and everyone I know seems to have either done it, or were doing it. Personally for me, I find it a lovely experience. It looks easy but it is really not. It is challenging. I have discovered muscles I never knew I had. At the same time, it is also calming, soothing, relaxing, uplifting.

Except for this one heck of an annoying girl in my class which I shall refer to as Ms. Annoy. I have diagnosed Ms. Annoy to be suffering from acute attention seeking syndrome or ASS for short.

Ms. Annoy likes to interrupt the entire class by asking all sorts of stupid questions and making all sorts of stupid statements. The other day when the teacher asked us to do a particular pose, she said loudly: “This is too easy for me, are you sure I’m doing this right?”

And then today I had the misfortune of being in the same lift with her and all of a sudden she just shouts, “Oh crap!” to no one in particular. I mean, seriously. Are you so starved for attention that you have to resort to talking to yourself? Go see a therapist for crying out loud!

Today in class the yoga teacher was telling us about alternative ways of staying healthy besides taking medication or health supplements. He was telling us about how the combination of cloves, cinnamon and sea salt make a really good and healthy toothpaste when Ms. Annoy announces to the class that she uses toothpaste with cloves.

Hello! I’m really not interested in what you use or what you don’t use. I am interested in learning about health benefits from natural ingredients. However, at every juncture of the teacher’s speech, Ms. Annoy interrupts him to tell us all about how well she takes care of her health. It was bordering on rudeness, interrupting the teacher before he could even finish his speech.

Needless to say I was irritated. And then after class I was talking to a fellow class mate about what we learned today when Ms. Annoy, whistling loudly, walked right in between us! There is plenty of space in the room for her to walk out of the room without interrupting our conversation. But of course if she did that we would not have noticed her. And as Ms. Annoy is suffering from ASS, she has to be noticed.

Ms. Annoy reminds me of what my Land Law lecturer once told us in class : “The world is like a fruitcake, it is not complete without a few nuts in it.” I found a nut in my fruitcake all right!

Really, yoga is meant to be peaceful. And I am beginning to think that I will never achieve the desired sense of peace, calmness and relaxation with Ms. Annoy around.

What an ASS!

Where are the authorities when you need them??

I have the misfortune of residing in a house just at the back of MBPJ and the PJ Civic Centre. Today there is some PKR function either in MBPJ or the PJ Civic Centre. I don’t know and I don’t care.

All I know is that there are cars parked on both sides of the street, which means a two way street has now become so narrow that only one car can pass at any one time. The authorities should have either closed the main road so that there can only be one way traffic, or alternatively, stopped people from parking on both sides of the street. Neither has been done. And the result: chaos!

I had to wait 20 minutes just to get to my house from the main road, a distance of about 300 metres. And then when I finally reached my house, some monkey had parked right in front of my house! All I could see in the monkey’s car were 2 pairs of legs. Sounding the horn did no good.

So I had to get out of my car and knock on the monkey’s car window, whereupon the monkey awoke from his deep slumber and proceeded to very slowly move his car away from the entrance of my house. No apologies. No remorse. Just a look of irritation for having been disturbed from his sleep.

I then parked my car in the house and when I went to close the front gate, lo and behold! The monkey had parked his car in front of my house again! I politely told him that he was blocking my entrance, and how am I supposed to go in and out of my own house?? Nonchalantly, he tells me that he will only be there for a while as he is waiting for someone. That was 45 minutes ago.

Seriously, whatever happened to civic consciousness? Don’t they teach pendidikan moral or agama in schools anymore? Isn’t it common sense not to park in front of people’s houses?

This is not the first time this is happening and it certainly won’t be the last. Whenever there is a function in MBPJ or the PJ Civic Centre, there will be a traffic jam just outside my house, and I will have to spend 20 minutes getting into or out of my house.

The authorities will continue to be blind to all of this because they are of course benefitting from the rental of the MBPJ or PJ Civic Centre halls. What do they care about inconveniencing residents like me when there is all this money to be made. The best part is, all this illegal parking is happening right under their very noses!

I am now trapped in my own house!

Cosmic retribution

The other day I saw a dog knocked down on a busy street. Most of his stomach was on the road, but the saddest part was that he was still alive! And in his last moments alive, he was all alone – nobody to comfort him, to ease his pain, to love him.

It broke my heart. I still can’t understand why any creature should suffer, especially to the extent of this poor dog. What did he ever do to deserve such suffering?

Of course if one believes in karma like I do, the answer is very simple. The dog was paying for all his sins committed throughout his life on earth, including his sins of the past. Cosmic retribution.

But it still broke my heart.

Letter to my darling

Dear darling,

The 6 years we spent together were the best 6 years of my life. So many trials and tribulations, but we always managed to get through it all. In the end it was always laughter and joy.

I took great solace and comfort in the fact that no matter how bad my day was, no matter how low my spirit was, no matter how despairing the situation was, I would always come home to you. Into your arms, the only place I felt safe all these years. All my troubles would just evaporate the moment I saw you.

To say that I loved you is an understatement. I could not imagine life without you. I imagined growing old with you. You shaped who I am today. Today I am who I am, and where I am, because of you. I could never have come this far in my life without you.

And then the unthinkable happened. I lost you. And in losing you, I’ve not only lost a boyfriend, I’ve lost my best friend, the better half of me, my twin, my husband. And now I have nothing left. I am nothing. 

 

I am sorry I wasn't strong enough to hold on to you. I suffer from the same frailties that besiege so many human beings - I am weak. For us to be together meant that I had to be strong enough for the both of us. But I am not. I do not have the strength to go on fighting the entire world just to be with you. I stopped fighting. I am so tired. And so I have lost you.

 

Some people say that love will conquer all. But the harsh reality is that sometimes, once in a blue moon, love alone is not enough. What are the odds of that happening to us!

 

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know whether I can make it through life without you. All I know is that I love you but I have lost you. And life as I know it will never be the same again.  

 

How I wish I could take you away to a fantasy world where there is only you and I. What bliss! You won't ever have to worry about any of the ills that plague you. And I will be free to hold you, cherish you, love you! We will not be judged. We will have each other. For eternity.

 

Perhaps one day in the future when the world is more forgiving, or when you have found your own strength, or when I have found enough courage and strength for the both of us - perhaps we can be together. And then it will be forever.

 

Till then, I am yours truly,

 

Your darling Sheila.

He said, She said

He said:

“I have loved her for 6 years. Purely, sincerely, genuinely and loyally. I gave her the encouragement to pursue her dreams, and the freedom to maintain her own identity. Yet I also held her hands and her heart whenever she needed assistance, reassurance, comfort. I gave her everything that I had. I gave her all of me.

Just because I did not ask her one damn question she has now left me. She just left. One minute she was dwelling comfortably within the recesses of my heart. The next minute she was gone. Before I could even begin searching for her she had attached herself to another’s heart.

How is that even possible? How can she claim to have loved me when it was so easy for her to love another? Did I mean anything to her at all? Did I not love her enough? Can a mere question be so important?

Was my love not good enough for her?”

She said:

“I have loved him for 6 years. Truly and honestly. I would have left everything behind for him. I would have given up everything for him. I would have fought the world for him.

After 6 years, I wanted to begin a new chapter in our lives. He did not. Or could not. I really don’t know. Having arrived at a forked path in my life I had to decide. So I made my choice. Despite that, I can never truly love another. Not like I loved him. He meant everything to me.

How difficult is it to ask me a question he already knew the answer to? Why couldn’t he? Am I not worth it? Did he really love me? Did he have doubts? Did I not love him enough?

Was my love not good enough for him?”